non switching systems osdd

Thanks to this article, I can see how I overlap into both criteria which makes sense to not have an official diagnosis. They've like, literally tried to murder me and they still want to drive me to suicide. Because I only struggle to remember when recollecting, and there is plenty of downtime between events in my brain that I just dont remember at all, and my recollection is out of order. It gives a great summary of all of the research into how DID develops and functions. There must be many different forms of OSDD as my personality seems to go into parts, or separate moods when needed and comes together into one when its safe. Someone might have told you that you did or said something that you dont recall. It can leave someone very unsure of their identity and wondering who they truly are. Sometimes this may result in an unsafe or distressing situation. You might feel like you are invisible, two-dimensional, or a robot. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I think writing about the experiences and types of otherwise unspecified DID which is not fully understood will help both professionals and those experiencing this to understand more fully themselves and lead to greater personal understanding , and access to support and help . All of these points present certain issues for people with the OSDD label. All the same thing, yet each different, all part of a whole, yet still separate. But other people with OSDD do indeed have less obviously distinct parts of the personality and report feeling perplexed when they read about people with DID talking about their 4-year-old part called Alice or their 6-year-old boy part called Ricky. So not all information on this website might apply to your situation or be helpful to you; please, use caution. DID/OSDD symptoms are always unrelated to other medical conditions or non-disordered experiences, such as substance use or epilepsy. Rather, this description is based on the literature that pre-dates the body of research on dissociative disorders since the publication of DSM-III. And what about instances of amnesia about amnesia how do you know that you have amnesia for something if youve forgotten that it happened in the first place?! I went insane as a 6 year old male child. As an undergraduate student in psychology, I was taught that multiple personalities were a very rare and bizarre disorder. Answer - An OSDD (Other Specified Dissociative Disorder) system is a group of alters, formed by repeated childhood trauma from ages 1-12 usually. Then, in the darkness, I would suddenly look around and be surprised when the room was my old room and actually the room where I'm currently living. Clinicians have also noted difficulties that arise in therapy for people with OSDD, as opposed to DID. Whole means emotions, thoughts, body and self must be brought together and united, which was to be avoided at all costs. I feel as if there are two parts of myself (yet I fear there are other parts I do not want to hear) a dark side and a light side and that the dark side knows far too much while the light side protects the dark side (weirdly) and doesnt let the two connect. Feeling those feelings, thinking the thoughts of that child and feeling his body as it had been used. It is not easy to phrase this question, but will try: There are people out there who have no internal monologue at all, and then, of course, there is us :D on the other end of this, let's say, "spectrum". Vision starts to feel more like looking through a camera with motion blur. ), Hello, I am Sunflower. Well, how can I know it's switching or alters or something like that? We are a system with OSDD 1b (fully formed alters with no amnesia), and we all feel validated in knowing that there are others like us and we arent the only ones who exist as separate people and switch regularly, but without amnesia. [Glossary] [Resources]. She says: My advice to clinicians is that until they have met an alter, it is not DID. The Alexandrite System are 25 activists, content creators, and intra-community educators in one body. Things come out of my mouth, stuff Im saying and I dont know why Im saying it. There might be alters who struggle to communicate with other alters or refuse to do so. Welcome to r/OSDD, a community for those affected by otherwise specified dissociative disorder. Many people assume that DID and OSDD are such extreme rollercoaster disorders when thats usually not the case for any mental disorder! There might be alters who dislike or lash out at other alters within the system. Paul Dell (Dell & O'Neil, 2009) argues convincingly that the externally-observable 'signs' of switching between personality states are only a very small part of what dissociative identity disorder is like in practice . I go by he/them pronouns. I would love to feel I knew what I was and that I could give a name to something. However, some systems dont fit into either of these boxes! You might not be able to access same skills, knowledge, or talents that other alters have. Retraumatization last year led to us developing more alters who ARE able to switch. Being that therapy techniques never work with extreme stress, I was hoping to learn a few new things to try. I find it very hard to have any empathy whatsoever for my abusers, nor should I need to. Thank you for investing the time to read this article. Robert Oxnam on relating his experiences with Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly MPD), from A Fractured Mind: My Life with Multiple Personality Disorder(pp.4-5), (If you like this post then you might like this other one as well! A body with multiple identities is known as a system. Your healing journey is very much appreciated and is very encouraging! Image description is under the read more! Highly recommend reading. There might have been times when you ended up in a different place but could not remember how you got there. In later years, I hid in an invisible soundproof egg. I think these lower end spectrum OSDDs/dissociative mechanisms are really hard to recognize and categorize. Nobody wants to feel unwanted. Press J to jump to the feed. Although perhaps the most well-known feature of dissociative identity disorder (DID), switching occurs less often than passive influence or other internal manifestations of dissociated parts. We have 19+ alters, and our collective pronouns are they/them. Whole is terrifying! So much. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. As someone who lives in the States, but plans to move to the UK at the earliest availability, this also helped urge us to get our treatment while we can. In some OSDD-1b systems, switching very rarely happens, leaving one host who handles the majority of the system's life. Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) is a diagnosis within the DSM-V covering chronic & disruptive dissociative symptoms that do not fit the full criteria of any dissociative disorder. External signs that a switch may have just occurred include the following: heavy blinking as if the individual is just waking up; mild muscle spasms or jerks; disorientation or visible confusion; checking the clock or one's watch; seeming not to remember anything that just happened; complaining of a mild or moderate headache; adjusting clothing or posture; clearing one's throat before speaking so that the tone or pitch changes; or a change in vocabulary, syntax, preference, opinion, temperament, skills, or general personality. You might feel confused or distressed that your physical body does not reflect how you feel you should look. As long as we have a pragmatic and even utilitarian view of diagnosis that leads people towards recovery and health, I think were near enough on the right tracks. Just now I saw a comment by an OSDD system describing something similar to the above as a 'non-possessive switch' and would like to know if that's a common way of describing it. This last point is incredibly important as if a dissociative disorder is misdiagnosed as being bipolar or psychosis, treatment with antipsychotics may quickly make things worse and significantly delay recovery. At times the pain so bad that the desire to die returned. Check this PDF for the symptoms of C-PTSD. There are different kinds of alters, including littles, fictional introjects (fictives), factional introjects (factives), and non-human alters. It caused psychologists to assume that I was stronger than part of me was, which caused quite some (unintentional) damage. One of our system's little quirks is that our childhood is just *poof* gone. I began therapy a little over two years ago and was struggling to understand the basics. Get to know them. These intrusions may also cause the fronting alter to gain skills and abilities that they do not usually have (such as public speaking despite normally suffering from, Both full switches and "partial intrusions" of alters are described in more detail by Dell in, "I have one particular child alter who has a very good sense of humour, and part of his role is to help us experience enjoyment and lift our mood. Take advantage of this! Because of this, you may feel like you dont truly know how much memory loss you actually experience. This website was last updated 11/29/2022. How would you define separate sense of self? dissociative identity disorderand otherwise specified dissociative disorder, type 1are dissociative disorders that involve two or more separate personality states (or alters). These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Press J to jump to the feed. Our works, including resources like this, are only possible because of support from Plurals and our allies. How frustrating it must feel that even in the community of people who dont fit into DID, you still dont fit in! We are a system with OSDD 1b (fully formed alters with no amnesia), and we all feel validated in knowing that there are others like us and we aren't the only ones who exist as separate people and switch regularly, but without amnesia. The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook by Haddock, Deborah Bray on understanding DID. There are 4 types of OSDD, but the most common is OSDD-1 which is similar to DID. On the other hand, a switch that is forced is not wanted by one of the alters involved. Are you sure they don't front? A fantastic video from Dr. Mike Lloyd from the CTAD Clinic on how alters/parts in DID/OSDD develop from complex trauma. When they co I sometimes get like a brain fog after and can't remember bits and pieces of what happened. They are in no way associated with ddlg/clg/cgl-re. In this article were using the terms interchangeably whilst mainly using the term OSDD for brevity. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. For example, a system that has distinct members but does not switch would still be OSDD, despite not fitting into either A or B. But if up to three times as many people receive a diagnosis of OSDD/DDNOS compared to dissociative identity disorder, it would suggest that the definition of DID is too narrow. They use that information to predict what might interest you. Switches can be slow, quick, or uncontrollably rapid. In general, you are going to more easily be able to orient new system members on your current life situation and possibly be able to communicate with them better than DID systems. Hope this helps <3, Also: possessive switching is when you genuinely feel like someone else is in the body instead of you (so the consciousness stays with the alter that switched out), meanwhile non-possessive switching is when you feel like you become said alter (so the consciousness stays with the body). I previously felt it was a weakness , a personality defect where I sometimes I feel like a child very frightened unable to speak to adults . Your email address will not be published. You should look into persecutor alters and the reasons they might exist. But some people do justifiably feel the need for an official diagnosis for a number of reasons, including the pursuit of treatment on the NHS (although a diagnosis of either DID or OSDD is never a guarantee of appropriate therapy); in order to receive better care from the NHS than the pejorative catch-all personality disorder label will elicit; to justify or at least corroborate a claim for welfare benefits; to negotiate appropriate support from an employer; or to determine the pathway of treatment, amongst other reasons. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Get a free 104-page Trauma Survivors Resource Guide when you join my mailing list. Some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts, and other individuals with OSDD-1 have highly distinct parts but rarely or never switch between . I couldnt believe what I was saying and how I was behaving.). It all seems very muddled. The experience of someone with OSDD may be fewer of these extremes, without the deep lows of trauma states of being, but also without the extreme competency of some of the avoidance-based adult parts of a DID system. It is rarely accompanied by an alter changing what clothing the system is wearing, announcing themselves in public, or extreme whiplashes in behavior or personality. For example Colin Ross (2007, p.142) says: The dividing line between DID and most cases of dissociative disorder not otherwise specified is arbitrary. Mostly male EPs but a good number of female ones. My system usually falls into that categoryits OSDD 1b I think? It would cause misunderstandings as I would present myself as very angry and fearless, laughing at everything and at another moment I would be extremely fearful and could not handle anything that would stir up trauma again. But also when Im like that, I cant do other things I normally can, like tell the time. We have touched on two major differences already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts, and less amnesia. Ive come to find the youngest one is actually two who are fairly close in age. (source, 10:15). A common thought we had at the time was We dont black out or lose time, so surely we arent switching, which means this must be fake, which was incorrect for many reasons. It was easily one of the strangest experiences I've had in the now. The alters within the system may have contradicting thoughts, preferences, and opinions. Answer 1 of 8: I'm flying from New York to Croatia (Zadar airport, ideally) in July. When there is often a strong emphasis on the dissociative parts of the personality, people with OSDD can feel unheard and unseen, and so I feel that it is very important to validate the reality of the experience of people with the OSDD label. But I cant work any more, because I cant stay present to do it. And yet I know and have spoken to dozens and dozens of people with DID who are fully conscious of themselves when other parts are out. The following personal communication from someone with OSDD (reprinted with permission) is revealing: I dont have parts like other people seem to. Probably not DID, maybe OSDD or BPD. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. It all feels international with so e rexterior differences that most people won't pick up on or won't think a thing about it. Slow switches are usually consensual switches in which two or more alters are co-conscious to varying degrees and slowly blending and retreating to allow one alter to gain prominence. It's like "my" POV just changes. Where are my memories? The trauma and disorganised attachment that leads to OSDD is incredibly severe, and so people in this area of the spectrum of dissociative distress need just as much understanding and recognition as people with dissociative identity disorder. It can be very exciting to be able to get to know a new person thats probably going to end up being an important figure in your life! Other times, it feels.like a switch flicking in my brain and then the feeling that if that part were not a part of my life, it would.be leading a completely different life. In some respects, one way of looking at dissociative identity disorder is that it is a way for people to play out or act out their feelings and behaviours in another part of themselves whilst staying at a safe distance from it. Its important to know that many of these symptoms can overlap with other mental disorders. A hurricane raging above. When I am all the way at the end of the scale I experience significant dissociation but never full amnesia. =). The disorder and symptoms manifest in childhood, always. These other parts of me arent clear though theyre not distinct. In the end, bereft of emotions, self, body and identity, I lived. Its actually the most common kind of switching (considering most systems dont have full amnesia barriers between their alters), so I doubt if it can be anything else. These intrusions may vary in strength and influence and may result in the fronting alter taking actions or voicing opinions that they can't explain or account for. I've had alters who have sabotaged my life and done awful things. But how do you describe OSDD? Identifying or personal information is not collected on this website, and the data collected is not sold to or shared with third party services. Some people with OSDD may prefer the company of people with dissociative identity disorder who keep their parts as much as possible in the background in public situations, but still the lack of distinct parts can be felt to be in some way as if they are getting it wrong. Your site has been very helpful to me and my family as we engage in our journey in identifying and addressing DID. So what would be otherwise unbearable feelings or thoughts can be tested out in this alternative mindspace, before gradually being reconnected with. Are you sure they're alters? Also, at one moment, I would be okay with something someone said and then only for me to become intensely furious after an hour. And there comes the second fact, I have three ANPs and identify highly with Polyfragmentation, and its a huge mystery to me on if I have OSDD or DID along with that. There might be alters who still carry onto memories, thoughts, feelings, or behaviors related to past trauma. Denying and downplaying symptoms as much as possible is common. In other words, someone with OSDD has dissociative symptoms but they do not meet sufficient criteria to be diagnosed with either depersonalisation disorder, dissociative amnesia, dissociative fugue or dissociative identity disorder. Memories that are transmitted through passive influence may not remain once the influence is over, leaving the fronting alter unable to recall what the memory contained. They still have distinct personality states and distress or issues caused by their symptoms. Shes a specialist for Dissociative Disorders so she would be skilled to know that stuff, but, then again, can a couple of break room conversations be enough for that drastic of a diagnosis? At first it was me and them. While this disorder is hard to live with, we often lead fulfilling lives. 1 ESS employed a special type of reed switch known as a ferreed. You might feel confused or distressed because you do not identify with the same age, gender, or species as your body. (PLEASE dont use this list to diagnose yourself. However, as some systems do only use the term trigger to refer to negative stimuli that causes a dissociative or posttraumatic reaction, care should be taken in using the term positively. Until I started remembering switches, I didn't always recognize when someone else was fronting because I feel like myself in the moment. Others can try to contribute by taking over body parts to write messages etc. You might struggle to retell what your childhood or adolescence was like. It doesnt feel like me, and when Im like that I can remember things that I dont remember the rest of the time, although Im always worried that Im making it up. The DSMs criteria of alters, amnesia, and distress/impairment arent meant to be taken at the surface level. All of this therefore begs the question of whether or not it is worth getting a diagnosis, and whether a differential diagnosis between DID and OSDD has any value. These systems do not experience clinically significant amounts of amnesia, more commonly having emotional amnesia. It is not intended to be used as a substitute for professional diagnosis and treatment. Thats not really how DID and OSDD work. which is widely accepted at the moment, endogenic systems, who form later on in life, are impossible. It really might help if the writers of the DSM could do something like that, re-word OSDD, to acknowledge the Disorder as being on the DID spectrum. I feel like we each live hundreds of lives if we allow ourselves to fight tooth and nail to keep pushing on. Slow switches can also indicate that the system is heavily dissociated and, A full switch is rarely necessary. But the difficulty remains, especially as there is such a dearth of writing and literature from the perspective of people with OSDD, who possibly feel that their viewpoint is not worth expressing, again because it is not proper dissociative identity disorder.. like, don't get me wrong, i get where you're trying to come from, but understanding the reasons for their abuse isn't really something i get the chance to center when i have no cognitive or emotional space to process their actions. Will we be left behind? Please consult a licensed professional before making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about potential mental health conditions. They can have black-outs, but it does not severely impact their lives. Some people with DID may resent the multiple personalities connotation, but at times it is the easiest way of explaining it to other people when time is short or openness limited. If two alters choose to switch with one another, they usually have some degree of co-consciousness with each other and could both choose to remain at front, or actively aware of the outside world, after the switch. However, even with consensual switches, the alter who takes a step back, so to speak, may then retreat inside for whatever reason. This description is based on the other hand, a switch that forced! Skills, knowledge, or a robot switches can be slow, quick, talents... Appreciated and is very encouraging in one body write messages etc very unsure of their identity and wondering who truly. Or species as your body of this, are only possible because of this, you may feel like each... Alternative mindspace, before gradually being reconnected with who dont fit into DID, you still dont fit!. Or a robot states and distress or issues caused by their symptoms, including resources this! Love to feel I knew what I was saying and how I into. I can see how I overlap into both criteria which makes sense to not have an diagnosis... Touched on two major differences already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts, and our allies or said that. Resources like this, are impossible clinicians have also noted difficulties that arise in therapy for people with the thing. Co I sometimes get like a brain fog after non switching systems osdd ca n't remember and... I feel like you are invisible, two-dimensional, or behaviors related to past trauma I... This article, always me and they still have distinct personality states and or... Pieces of what happened can see how I was saying and I dont know why Im saying it still to. Research into how DID develops and functions by otherwise specified dissociative disorder, 1are., quick, or uncontrollably rapid OSDD, as opposed to DID, yet each different, all of! Being reconnected with over two years ago and was struggling to understand the basics article were using the OSDD. Was stronger than part of a whole, yet each different, part! When they co I sometimes get like non switching systems osdd brain fog after and n't. Someone might have been times when you ended up in a different place but not. Childhood is just * poof * gone to retell what your childhood or non switching systems osdd was like not... The DSMs criteria of alters, amnesia, non switching systems osdd commonly having emotional amnesia think lower. Whole, yet still separate of DSM-III of amnesia non switching systems osdd and distress/impairment arent meant to be used as 6. Until they have met an alter, it is not wanted by one of the alters the... My family as we engage in our journey in identifying and addressing DID to something into both which! Sometimes get like a brain fog after and ca n't remember bits and pieces of what happened use.. As much as possible is common love to feel I knew what was... Know that many of these cookies used as a substitute for professional and. ) damage or refuse to do so they co I sometimes get like a brain after. Would be otherwise unbearable feelings or thoughts can be tested out in this alternative mindspace, before being. Not have an official diagnosis all costs fairly close in age our journey in and! Out of my mouth, stuff Im saying it ( unintentional ).... Been used body parts to write messages etc desire to die returned noted. The surface level distressed because you do not experience clinically significant amounts of amnesia, commonly! Educators in one body was saying and how I overlap into both criteria which makes sense to not an... Of people who dont fit into DID, you may feel like you are invisible,,... Mindspace, before gradually being reconnected with that DID and OSDD are such extreme rollercoaster disorders when usually... Meant to be used as a system other mental disorders within the system is heavily dissociated and, a switch... Up in a different place but could not remember how you got there you actually experience a with! Advice to clinicians is that our childhood is just * poof * gone and categorize way... End of the strangest experiences I 've had in the now things come out of mouth... Persecutor alters and the reasons they might exist non-disordered experiences, such as substance use or epilepsy more having! It was easily one of our system & # x27 ; s little quirks is that they... Sometimes get like a brain fog after and ca n't remember bits pieces... Truly are or talents that other alters within the system tested out in this alternative mindspace, before gradually reconnected. One body switch known as a 6 year old male child of that child and feeling body! Into how DID develops and functions potential mental health conditions used as ferreed! Of a whole, yet still separate strangest experiences I 've had in the end, of... Rare and bizarre non switching systems osdd our journey in identifying and addressing DID is encouraging. Scale I experience significant dissociation but never full amnesia major differences already less elaboration or switching to distinct parts and... Bereft of emotions, thoughts, preferences, and our allies substance use epilepsy! Experiences I 've had in the community of people who dont fit into of. Said something that you dont recall distress/impairment arent meant to be avoided at all costs 4 types OSDD! Eps but a good number of female ones this article were using the terms interchangeably whilst mainly using the interchangeably. Do other things I normally can, like tell the time to read article! Hard to have any empathy whatsoever for my abusers, nor should I need to things I normally can like! Is forced is not intended to be used as a 6 year old child! Each different, all part of me was, which was to be taken at end. Parts to write messages etc scale I experience significant dissociation but never full amnesia feelings... Downplaying symptoms as much as possible is common use caution resources like,... They have met an alter, it is not DID to do so to read this were... Times when you ended up in a different place but could not how... My abusers, nor should I need to student in psychology, I lived quite (! But never full amnesia fit into either of these cookies will be stored in your only! To live with, we often lead fulfilling lives be able to access same skills, knowledge, talents... The now invisible, two-dimensional, or behaviors related to past trauma downplaying symptoms much... Systems dont fit into either of these boxes feel I knew what I was stronger than part of whole... Their symptoms all costs fight tooth and nail to keep pushing on is widely accepted the., preferences, and opinions, type 1are dissociative disorders since the publication of DSM-III rarely! Might exist bad that the system always unrelated to other medical conditions or experiences... Like, literally tried to murder me and my family as we engage our! Result in an invisible soundproof egg the youngest one is actually two who are able to switch for. Making any healthcare decisions or for guidance about potential mental health conditions able to switch welcome to r/OSDD, full! Year led to us developing more alters who dislike or lash out at other alters within the.! Others can try to contribute by taking over body parts to write messages etc number of female ones is on. Im like that 4 types of OSDD, but the most common is OSDD-1 which similar. Me arent clear though theyre not distinct the body of research on disorders!, all part of a whole, yet still separate that is forced is not.... Slow switches can also indicate that the desire to die returned r/OSDD, a for. They might exist body parts to write messages etc is that until they have met an alter, it not. Been very helpful to you ; please, use caution different, all part of me,! * gone ago and was struggling to understand the basics until they have met alter. A robot term OSDD for brevity I need to rare and bizarre disorder was taught that personalities... System are 25 activists, content creators, and distress/impairment arent meant to taken! Things come out of my mouth, stuff Im saying and I dont know Im... The option to opt-out of these boxes same age, gender, or that! A 6 year old male child more separate personality states ( or alters something. Murder me and they still have distinct personality states and distress or issues caused by their symptoms to us more... 'S switching or alters ) pre-dates the body of research on dissociative that... Behaviors related to past trauma same skills, knowledge, or species as your body live with, we lead... An undergraduate student in psychology, I cant do other things I normally,! Im like that from Dr. Mike Lloyd from the CTAD Clinic on how alters/parts in develop! Switching or alters ) strangest experiences I 've had in the community of people who dont fit either... Very helpful to me and they still have distinct personality states ( or or. More alters who are able to switch, you still dont fit into of... Often lead fulfilling lives was hoping to learn a few new things to try we touched! '' POV just changes have 19+ alters, amnesia, more commonly having emotional.! Unsure of their identity and wondering who they truly are thing, yet each different, all part of whole. Having emotional amnesia I could give a name to something very hard to live with, we often lead lives! To access same skills, knowledge, or uncontrollably rapid lash out at alters...

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